When to Ask for Her Number on Dating Apps (And How)
The optimal timing and exact scripts for moving from app to text. Data on when asking works best, what to say, and how to transition smoothly without being pushy.
Last updated: January 15, 2026
Quick Answer
Ask for her number after 10-15 messages exchanged OR after 2-3 days of consistent conversationâwhichever comes first. Signs it's time: conversation is flowing naturally, you've found common ground, she's asking questions back (shows investment), and you've established a plan or reason to text (like confirming date details). Don't ask immediately (feels pushy) or wait too long (conversation dies). Frame it naturally: 'I'm enjoying thisâwant to move to text? Easier than the app.'
Source: Magnt Research, 2026
Why Move from Dating App to Text?
Moving to text signals progression and intent. Benefits: notifications are more immediate (app matches get buried), texting feels more personal, app conversations often die after a week without progression, and exchanging numbers shows mutual interest. Some women prefer staying on the app until meeting (respect this)âbut most will share their number if they're interested and you've built rapport. Not asking to move to text can signal low interest or indecision.
What's the Best Way to Ask for Her Number?
Direct, confident approaches work best: 'I'm enjoying getting to know you. Want to continue this over text? Here's my number: [number]' or 'I'm bad at checking this appâcan I text you instead?' Giving your number first removes pressure and lets her choose. Avoid: 'Can I have your number?' (feels like asking permission), 'I don't use this app much' (dishonest), or long explanations (unnecessary). Simple and confident beats elaborate or apologetic.
What If She Doesn't Want to Give Her Number?
If she says she prefers staying on the app, respect it without making it awkward: 'No problem! Totally get it. So about that coffee shop you mentioned...' Some women have had bad experiences (harassment, showing up at work), so app-only until meeting is reasonable. Continue the conversation normally. If she's interested, she'll likely share later or suggest meeting. If she stops responding after you ask, she probably wasn't that interestedâthe number ask just revealed it.
Should You Ask for Instagram or Snapchat Instead?
Asking for Instagram/Snapchat instead of a phone number can feel lower-commitment but has trade-offs. Pros: she can verify you further through your profile, might feel safer. Cons: signals you might be more interested in following than dating, can seem less serious about meeting. Best approach: if she has her IG linked, you can mention you followed her, but still ask for her number when planning an actual date. Instagram is supplementary, not a replacement for direct communication.
How to Transition to Texting After Getting Her Number
First text after getting her number: be clear it's you, reference something from your conversation, keep it light. Example: 'Hey, it's [Name] from Hingeâthe guy who agreed your pizza take was controversial but correct. Easier to plan our coffee mission from here.' Continue the conversation naturally, don't change your personality. Don't: send multiple messages without response, immediately ask invasive questions, or wait days (you just got her number, you're interestedâshow it).
What If the Conversation Died Before You Asked for Her Number?
You can revive dead conversations, but do it once only. After a week of silence: 'Hey [Name], I let this conversation die which was dumb of me. Still down to grab that coffee?' Direct, takes responsibility, and proposes action. If no response, move on. If the conversation died because she stopped responding to begin with, one follow-up is acceptable but don't push beyond that. No response is a response.
When is It Too Soon or Too Late to Ask?
Too soon: In the first few messages or before establishing any rapport (feels desperate). Too late: After 2+ weeks of messaging without progression (you've become pen pals). The sweet spot: Ask when you've established mutual interest and have a reason to textâtypically when planning a date or continuing a particularly good conversation thread. If you're unsure, 5-7 days of regular back-and-forth is a safe window. Trust your instinct: if it feels like the right moment, it probably is.
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